Mittwoch, 10. September 2008

Is this the end of the world as we know it?

So, is this it? The media keeps talking about the end of the world because of the Cern-Experiment. What if it really is? What would you do? What would I do? (I just noticed that I do not call myself Bear anymore while thinking about my last hours on earth - interesting)
I just thought to myself that if today the world stops existing, should I really go to work? I am at work now.
I do not believe that because of this experiment the world will crash. Although it's not such a stupid idea that we finally manage to wipe ourselves off the planet *by* ourselves... Actually I think we'd rather destroy ourselves with a really bad war, polluting our environment totally or if all of this fails, an exploding sun - or imploding. Whatever.

But anyway. Let's just imagine these are the last hours, what would I want to do?! I would tell my parents that I love them (actually, I just did). I would cuddle my pets once more. Then I would drive my baby up a hill with a lovely view, take some chocolate and wine with me, call a few people to tell them a few things I always meant to say but never did - because it was never the right time to do so or because I just couldn't because you just don't speak those things out loud. (I guess I got a few people out there thinking now...)
And then I would wait for the end of the world to come. Hopefully front row...

Samstag, 6. September 2008

This has got to be a bad bad day...

Yesterday started in a real bad way.
Bear was on the road going to work. Bear saw all the cars stopping ahead and heard on the radio about a traffic jam. Great. Bear was right in it. Bear never understood why she always already is in the jam when they just start telling about that on the radio. They are always so slow.
Anyway. Stop and Go. For quite a while. Must have been a bad accident. Bear looked at her coolant and nearly got a heart attack. It was right before the red top! Bear was in the middle line, looked at the huge truck next to her, waved out of the roof while pulling over right in front of him onto the emergency lane. Bear stopped, turned on the warning lights, put on the visibility jacket and opened the engine bonnet. Bear was clever enough not to open the coolant yet as she remembered that it might be f*cking hot! What Bear forgot at first, was putting up the warning triangle.
So Bear sat in her car waiting. Bear didn't need to call the ÖAMTC. She knew she just had to wait for her car to cool down. Unfortunately the traffic jam was really long and Bear was not sure where exactly she was. She could have just gone and see if she was out of it after a few meters, but was too afraid of her car over heating again. So she stayed where she was in the shade under a bridge and waited.

A policeman on a bike came up the emergency lane, turning on his horn, but since it was only a bike it was no problem for him to pass Bear's car with all the trucks right beside her. A little later a small fire engine care came up. And here the first problem came up. Although Bear's car was parked really close to the side of the lane, they just couldn't pass because the trucks on the other lane were too close. Bear was not sure what to do. She couldn't really start her car as it was still too hot, so she just blinked at them hoping for the truck to be able to pull aside a bit. All of a sudden one of the firemen came up to her and told her to get the gear out. He will push Bear's car a little closer to the side. And so he did. Now Bear was extremely close to the wall.
Bear then got out of the car, thinking that the coolant might be a bit cooler now and that she might be able to have a look if there was still some water inside. So Bear opened it. It was not cool. It was still hot. And it nearly exploded with the stinking water running all over Bear's hand and car. Bear jumped but realised that she was on the highway so didn't jump too far. People looked at Bear. Bear was embarrassed. Bear got back in the car. Bear's car was now smoking.
Bear called her daddy, asking wether the police are able to file charge against her because of Bear blocking the emergency lane since they needed to get to the accident. Bear's father told her that she did have a break-down too and if there was the warning triangle out they wouldn't charge her. Bear got out of the car again and put the warning triangle up. Up until then Bear was so stupid to think that having the warning lights on would be enough. And Bear never thought of a connection between warning lights and battery...
Anyway. An emergency car pulled up. Great. They couldn't really pass because of another huge truck right next to Bear. Bear got a bit nervous. But they didn't seem to be angry. When they finally passed all of them looked out of the window grinning at Bear and saying: "Oijeeeeh!" Bear was even more embarrassed now.
In between Bear has already called her work to tell them that she was going to be very late.
A small van passed Bear and the driver gave her a sign that asked wether he should call some help for Bear. Bear rejected. Very nice, though.
Bear still sat in her car, watching the traffic jam getting a bit faster now and wondered if she could try now to start driving again. She decided to wait a little longer until she was sure that there was no Stop and Go anymore. After some more while Bear realised that the traffic jam might be over now because cars were going a wee bit faster now. So Bear got out, got the extra water - thank God, Bear always has that with her - and refilled the coolant (and the oil while she was at it anyway), got the warning triangle and wanted to close the engine bonnet. It wouldn't close. Ok, now how worse could this morning even get?! Bear tried a few times to close it, but it wouldn't properly. It did close but Bear could open it easily again. How was Bear supposed to drive into work with an engine bonnet not being entirely closed?!
A police car came up. They looked very angry at Bear and one of the took the microphone and said something through the speakers to Bear. Bear could not really understand it. But Bear guessed that it had something to do with the warning triangle not being up. Well, Bear just got it out of the street a minute before the police arrived!! Bear wanted to tell them, but Bear was still busy with her engine bonnet. She finally closed it but it was still not really locked. So Bear decided to drive very carefully.
Bear got to work without anymore distractions.

When Bear wanted to drive home in the evening she took some adhesive tape with her to stick her engine bonnet to the rest of the car. Bear tried once more to close it properly and all of a sudden it did. Good. Bear would have been very embarrassed if she had to drive home with the tape sticking on the front of her car.

On the highway Bear realised that her lights were not as bright as they used to be and then suddenly her radio stopped playing. That was usually a sign of an empty battery. Bear thought: "Oh, obviously the warning lights do empty the battery...". Yes, sometimes Bear is a bit blonde...
Bear got home finally. Although she hardly saw anything anymore because her lights were close to not working at all anymore and it was really dark.
At home Bear said to her father: "Do warning lights being on for more than one hour empty the battery?". Bear's father started laughing and wouldn't stop for the next ten minutes. Bear had enough of that day. Bear went to bed.